Heavy...

It's the only word coming to me right now...my heart is just...heavy. There is a weight pressing in on me and it is crushing me from all angles. I can't quite pinpoint the origin, but it feels like it's coming from every possible direction.
I've noticed a correlation b/w these attacks and the sharing of my testimony...last night I was blessed with the opportunity to share some of my history with a sweet and precious sister - lo and behold, today was just one tremendously hard day...not just work - that wasn't it...just this feeling of failing...and not myself - but everyone else. One whole day of feeling utterly worthless and disconnected. The enemy is good at what he does I will give him that. I'm caught in this place of not knowing where I fit - what my roles are - where I'm going. These are worries shared by many I'm sure, and usually they're tucked away under the joy and trust of the Lord. Today, however, they're in the forefront of my mind - just spinning circles in there at a pace I can't quite keep up with. It's days like these that loneliness creeps in, I feel vulnerable and the exhaustion is overwhelming. I just want to curl up and be held, taken care of and protected.
My spirit is tugging at me though - trying to speak truth into the midst of it all. No fear child, you are loved and cared for by the One who can provide abundantly...the yolk I give you is light - give Me your worries and rest. Ah yes, rest.
I rebuke the lies in the name of Jesus - and I'm claiming that tomorrow I will rise with a renewed mind and spirit - the heaviness will be gone and I will walk steadfast in the knowledge and truth of Christ.

I know this post is random and a little erratic - the thoughts aren't quite flowing freely or clearly tonight, but, it's honesty in it's purest form...take it as you will.