January, 2007...and I'm back in action again. Call it part of my New Years resolution or maybe just me trying to make time for my own sanity. It's been quite a while, and it's been quite a busy few months. A few brief updates for now... Just when I thought life was finally making sense and things were moving in the "right" direction, whatever that may mean...the Lord has a funny way of flipping it all upside down in a way that is slightly exciting and even more so nauseating. In March I will have the great pleasure of invading the greater Chicago area where I will be living and working part time - look out Chicago. So much for the quiet little year I had planned. Nope, instead I'll be starting a new position every 8 months in what could quite possibly be the most uncomfortable, frightening, stressful thing I have ever gotten myself into. The good news is, I don't have to officially move and I'll be able to fly home every weekend...the bad news is, well, I'll be gone 5 days a week living half my life out of a suite case and the other half out of the airport. All joking aside, it is an amazing opportunity in which I feel that the Lord has placed in my lap w/o question. I'm not sure who or why I'm being sent on this journey, but what I do know is that by logical standards it shouldn't be me going, and by fleshly standards I don't want it to be me going, but my gut says I have to go and so I'm believing that it must mean God has something amazing up His sleeve.

In other news, I'm going to be an Aunt!! Julie's having a little girl and while yes it's weird watching the girl who used to find her greatest joy in de-pantsing me during b-ball practice having a baby and being a mother etc...it's been such a blessing to be able to walk w/ her during this time and experience this w/ her every day. I've been able to watch her experience the miracle of a growing baby and it's been amazing in ever way. I can't wait to see the little bundle of joy in person...only 4 months to go!

I'm going to Africa in the summer for what I expect to be a life changing experience. It's something I felt the Lord lay on my heart nearly a year ago - to go to places we can't even dream of, into the darkest places to witness, and experience true brokenness and true despair. I'll have more on this in the future...but in the mean time I would appreciate your prayers for both this trip as well as the semi-move to Chicago. While both are amazing endeavors brought to me by the Lord, they are both equally frightening and leave me feeling a little unsure. And yet in my gut, both are right and both will lead to a greater understanding and realization of my relationship with Christ.

And so, there's the update...abbreviated at best, but the first one in a while and long overdue. For those who are reading this - bless you and thank you for thinking to check in on me from time to time.

Sweet Emotion...

I am taking a class right now, which as required me to read a book entitled "Fool's Gold" by John Macarthur. The man has a passion for God's truth that I am deeply respectful of, he has a reverence for God's holiness that I can only hope to fully grasp at some point in my life...and yet as I'm reading his work about the dangers of watered down preaching in todays church, I can't help but wonder if Mr. Macarthur has ever encountered the wonders of the Holy Spirit, alive and active in our lives today. Tonight I read on as he discusses the dangers of 'emotion' in todays worship of our Lord. He cites over and over again that today we are driven to worship through the skilled and intentional planning of music ministers who deliberately strive to stir emotion within the worship, which is mistakenly taken by the worshiper as 'true worship'. He continues to state that this is a mindless and almost blasphemous attempt to worship God which should be avoided and traded in for the traditional and true worship of hymnals. While I can acknowledge that emtional play can be abused within a worship service or mis-interpreted by a worshiper...Mr. Macarthur, did God not give us these emotions that you so openly disdain? Is love not an emotion? Did Jesus not mourn and weep and grieve? Did He not rejoice and proclaim joy amongst His teaching? Are we not made in the image of God Himself and thus can we not assume that God intended these emotions to be a core function of our daily lives and worship of Him? Who decided that worship of God must be somber and quiet and completely void of anything that merely resembles an emotional response? Is a person stricken by personal trajedy or loss not granted the opportunity to become emotionally broken and thus crawl to the feet of Jesus in 'worship' and to find the peace and comfort we are promised in His Word?
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While I can respect Macarthur and his views in other areas, this is one that I was saddened to read. Our emotions are priceless if placed in the right context. Just because a musician writes a song to a catchy tune, that doesn't follow the exact outline of the early hymnals does not mean they were not inspired by the Spirit of God to write and sing that song in an act of worship - they are putting words of hope and love into a form of worship that the entire world can hear and be touched by and then sing with them to glorify and honor our Lord. What man can honestly determine and decide what is acceptable as an act of Worship? The scripture says that we are to worship with our lives...everything we do is to be an act of worship to God. If He has graced one with the gift of musical talent - in the 21st century, are they to be condemned for creating music in His name even if it doesn't meet doctrinal and scriptural requirements set forth by men who somewhere along the way got the idea that they had a say in the matter? If sung to God from the heart of one who desires to worship Him in that way...well, how dare any man judge what is pleasing to the heart of God.
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While I can understand Macarthurs frustration at the soft and false doctrine infiltrating the church today, I would caution against placing stipulations and boxes on the ability of God to use all avenues of this world and generation to glorify His name. It's all about the heart of the worshipper and to question the validity of ones worship is to make an attempt at being God Himself...it's no different than judging ones state of salvation. With the chaos of this world, with the baggage that so many of us carry into the church and into the pew...what if it takes an emotionally charged worship service to drive us out of ourselves and into the heart of the One we came to worship. Of course there must be balance, one should not assume that they must feel some emotional response to worship God, or equate God with a "feeling". He is so much more than that...we just cannot bury our emotions out of our own fear. True worship is not defined by the kind of music, the words we sing nor the arms we raise. It is defined in the heart of the one who worships, and there is only One who truly knows when He is being praised and glorified with a pure heart.
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Leave the judgement to God Mr. Macarthur...teach His Word honorably, be sound in your doctrine, never be ashamed of the gospel or of our testimony...but please don't underestimate God's ability to use those crazy things we call emotions to stir, convict, and move us to action on His behalf. They are God given, God breathed, why should we think for one second that He wouldn't use what He has given us to glorify Himself in some way? Yes, it's abused, yes it can be misinterpreted and misused. But so can God's own Word, the very Bible has been used improperly and out of context for ages...it has been abused at the pulpit, to push social and political agendas and to justify misaction...and yet we have not retired the good Book, we have not hidden it or deemed it useless. We cannot because it is from Gods own hand...just as we are, and with that our emotions.
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In closing I'll say - be discerning, this is simply an opinion of a girl probably less educated and studied on the topic than most. Read about David as he danced for God, read the Psalms and their passionate pleas and praises to God, read about Jesus and his deep compassion for people...and then decide for yourself.

How Great is our God

Isaiah 40:12-14 Who has measured the waters in the hallow of his hand, or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens? Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket, or weighted the mountains on the scales and the hills in a balance? Who has undestood the mind of the Lord, or instructed him as his counselor? Whom did the Lord consult to enlighten him, and who taught him the right way?

Just read that over and over again, until it's absolute immensity and wonder penetrates your very being - how can we not fall on our knees at the very utterance of His name? Will we forever fail to truly see and understand His greatness? How do we costantly continue to overlook the absolute enormity of our heavenly Creator?

I'll start with this thought...every day of our life is spent walking amidst thousands of God's miracles, most of which go unoticed or unappreciated. I know, I know, we've all heard the cliche, "every day the sun rises, we've experienced another miracle of God" and while that's true - there's so much more to it than that. The fact that the sun rises every day, on cue, providing heat and energy and life for our daily lives...REALLY is a miracle...the fact that little drops of water fall from the sky on a regular basis in order to replenish the earth and promote growth of plants and animals which feed and clothe us...REALY is a miracle. That we have plants that actually put oxygen into our atmosphere by way of their natural growing and living process so that we have air to breathe in order to live...REALLY is a miracle. The fact that our planet is just far enough from the sun not to be incinerated and not too far away to be frozen - REALLY is a miracle...are you getting my point? These are not just some happenings in nature seemingly fit together in this convenient little package perfectly designed to serve our very purpose on this earth... Just stop for a moment and think a/b how intricate the very thought of our lives are...how it's such a puzzle full of pieces here and there w/ parts cut out perfectly in order to fit the next piece. Are you humble before His might presence yet? How can we not look to His face with awe and amazement...

I've come to the realization that God is actually larger than you and I. For some reason I've always had this impression of God as Jesus, the size and shape of a man, but the power unimaginable by human thought.
How wrong I've been though - He's so much larger, so much bigger, literally, not just figuratively. It's the poetry of these scripture that have kept me grounded - in and out of the seasons of life - the questions and wonders, the anxiety the doubt and fear...even now, this season of correction and pruning - even in the midst of it all I rest heavily on the truth in these promises, in these testimonies to His absolute authority and greatness. I am reminded that I am in no position to question...and that I should only ever be in the position to praise with the utmost reverence for Him. Reverence...fear and respect and awe, all rolled into one big emotion and action. Fearing because you respect...fearing because you know how great He is...
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I pray you read the following scripture slowly - line by line, and really receive it - He is so mighty...I don't know if I've ever fully understood the beauty of this passage. It is unbelievably beautiful. I beg you to take just a minute and really read it...catch the greatness, see His glory and be moved with reverent amazement at the creation we have become so complacent and comfortable with. So much so, that we fail to see the need to praise Him for it.....
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Job 38:4-38

"Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation? Tell me, if you understand.

Who marked off its dimensions?

Surely you know!

Who stretched a measuring line across it?

On what were its footings set, or who laid its cornerstone -

while the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy?
"Who shut up the sea behind doors when it burst forth from the womb,

when I made the clouds its garment and wrapped it in thick darkness, when I fixed limits for it and set its doors and bars in place,
when I said, 'This far you may come and no farther;

here is where your proud waves halt'?
"Have you ever given orders to the morning,

or shown the dawn its place,

that it might take the earth by the edges and shake the wicked out of it?
The earth takes shape like clay under a seal;

its features stand out like those of a garment.

The wicked are denied their light, and their upraised arm is broken.
"Have you journeyed to the springs of the sea or walked in the recesses of the deep?

Have the gates of death been shown to you?

Have you seen the gates of the shadow of death?
Have you comprehended the vast expanses of the earth?

Tell me, if you know all this.
"What is the way to the abode of light?

And where does darkness reside?

Can you take them to their places?

Do you know the paths to their dwellings?

Surely you know, for you were already born!

You have lived so many years!
"Have you entered the storehouses of the snow

or seen the storehouses of the hail,

which I reserve for times of trouble, for days of war and battle?

What is the way to the place where the lightning is dispersed,

or the place where the east winds are scattered over the earth?
Who cuts a channel for the torrents of rain,

and a path for the thunderstorm,

to water a land where no man lives,

a desert with no one in it,

to satisfy a desolate wasteland and make it sprout with grass?
Does the rain have a father?

Who fathers the drops of dew?
From whose womb comes the ice?

Who gives birth to the frost from the heavens when the waters become hard as stone, when the surface of the deep is frozen?

"Can you bind the beautiful Pleiades?

Can you loose the cords of Orion?
Can you bring forth the constellations in their seasons

or lead out the Bear with its cubs?
Do you know the laws of the heavens?

Can you set up God's dominion over the earth?
"Can you raise your voice to the clouds

and cover yourself with a flood of water?
Do you send the lightning bolts on their way?

Do they report to you, 'Here we are'?
Who endowed the heart with wisdom

or gave understanding to the mind ?
Who has the wisdom to count the clouds?

Who can tip over the water jars of the heavens when the dust becomes hard and the clods of earth stick together?

Job 40:7-14

"Brace yourself like a man; I will question you,

and you shall answer me.

"Would you discredit my justice?

Would you condemn me to justify yourself?

Do you have an arm like God's, and can your voice thunder like his?
Then adorn yourself with glory and splendor,

and clothe yourself in honor and majesty.

Unleash the fury of your wrath,

look at every proud man and bring him low,

look at every proud man and humble him,

crush the wicked where they stand.

Bury them all in the dust together;

shroud their faces in the grave.
Then I myself will admit to you that your own right hand can save you.

Mom & Dad...

Mom & Dad,

So many years gone by. So many memories, so many hurts and so many open wounds. It's been a lifetime for me, and what must feel like a life time for you both. The ups and downs and trials of life...how they can leave a soul beaten and battered like a ragdoll in the mouth of a dog. My spirit has wrestled over you in such painful ways over the course of the past weeks. It is a frustration and a sorrow I have not known for many years. Mostly because I have chosen to bury it...deeper and deeper with every passing day, month and year. You have taught me well how to avoid, how to pretend and how to push away. You have taught me so well that even in my attempts to see truth, I can only see the facade I have built in my own mind. In years past I have built up such a hardness for you. A hardness that eventually, so deceptively, disguised itself as forgiveness and peace with our past...what I thought to be rest and acceptance has proven to be anything but. This past week has shown me this much. I have experienced a flood of emotion, most of which I cannot process quickly enough, most of which is tearing open the wounds I thought were so nicely bandaged and healed only to expose a hideous infection desperately in need of medical attention. I myself am terrified of what you have stirred in me, partially because I hate it and partially because I don't understand it. I am not the girl you raised, I am not the girl you thought you knew and I'm definitely not the girl you think you know now. Since we've parted ways, I have discovered and desperately sought after a new identity. One which is not rooted in the lie of love you have shown me, but one that is rooted in a never ending, unconditional love from a true Father that created every hair on my head, ever inch of my being. You have heard whispers of this new creation in me, and you reject it with passion...why? Does what I am becoming frighten you? Is it uncomfortable? Good - it should be...

As our time together began I must confess I ran straight into a wall of negativity, bitterness, anger, frustration and the list goes on. Every day I was just baffled at why they wanted to come here - why is this happening, this is the last thing I need right now...I talked with friends about the meaning of honoring our parents. Obviously important enough for God to place in the midst of His 10 Holy Commandments and interestingly enough, the only one given as a premise with a direct promise to follow. It was hard, I fought it, I justified my feelings, made excuses - got angry that I had to even contemplate honoring them...I knew I should and yet there was just this part of me that was in utter defiance of the thought.

The time went on and by Tuesday I was at my witts end - I just wanted it to be over so I could forget it ever happened...I drug myself to church, so dry, so empty. I nearly collapsed on the floor when I got there, every muscle desperate for just a mere few moments of rest in the Lords presence. I wept for the first time since my parents arrived - the tears that had so nearly surfaced 100 times, finally broke through the dam and they would not stop...grief for my parents, for their souls, for their hearts, for our relationship, for my confusion, for my frustration - all of it...I prayed for the Lord to see my tears - to please show me something...I trust You Lord - and I am so desperate for Your words!

After worship, I almost left a dozen times - just wanted to go to bed, I felt a little peace and I figured that was the extent of it. It was a night of testimonies - great - definitely not in the mood for this...I didn't move though. As many rose to give praise to God's glory in their life, I sat in the back talking to God, telling Him that I know He's done glorious things in my life, but I just couldn't get up there tonight - my face was swollen, makeup and hair in disray, and my words are lifeless. And yet, as I sat in the back the conviction fell on me like a bag of bricks. "Praise Him!"
Oh Lord, I thought, of course I praise You - in all circumstances. "Praise Him. Right now." Oh jeeze, Lord - not now...not here...and as so many of you have probably experienced - the heart rate rises, the temperature goes up about 10 degrees and the lies rush in like a flood - nobody wants to hear this, it's not even really a joyful, engergetic praise, it's not even finished, what in the world would I even say? People won't care a/b this. And even as the thoughts came, my feet moved - to the front, towards that darn microphone. As I took it, I couldn't even stand, I sat on the stage - staring at my feet - and I told them about what the Lord was doing, a broken relationship, the way the Lord has brought my parents to my home for the first time in six years, not by my request, and honestly...I can't tell you why, other than that He brought them. I talked briefly about the emotions being stirred - my sorrow, and frustration, confusion - and then I praised Him for it all - I told them that I felt the Lord tell me healing layed in my willingness to praise Him in front of them and that they were witnessing a testimony in progress...
Nothing profound by any means - I walked away thinking 'well Lord, there ya go, that's all I got'. Afterwards, He showed me once again that I know nothing. The flood of people that approached me to request prayers for similar situations was overwhelming - and with every prayer I prayed over others, my own healing came. I didn't leave church until after 11 that night - and when I got home, I was a different person. From that night forward things were just...different. I felt my heart changing for my parents. For the first time, maybe ever, I felt sincere and true love for them. It was still challenging at times, but it was no longer excruciating. Through different events, I saw my dad's love for me, things I had never known, things I had never realized were brought forward and I was shown that he does love me. I'm not a dissapointment or unwanted...he really does love me. And God asked me one night, 'will you finally believe that I love you? Even more than that?'

I can't fully understand or explain why this relationship with my father has such an impact on everything within me...but I actually started to feel different, acceptable, worthy, dare I say, confident that I am enough...that who I am, is okay. It's a healing in progress, a reconciliation in progress, and I'm okay with that because I know it's going to be okay, that it already is okay. And now the praises come freely and with great exclamation. I sat the other night, wondering if God goes through such great lengths for all of His children, and of course He does. It's beyond my comprehension that He could love each of us so much. But I know that He does and with every passing day, my heart is beginning to know it as well.

A brief update...

Okay, okay - I'm back. For those who don't know, and that's probably most of you since I've been MIA for a/b 3 weeks - I went to the summer youth camp in Glenrose this week and then spent the last 3 days in Corpus on the beach...yes - it was wonderful. Camp was amazing, as I expected and I have plenty on that to blog a/b later, and the beach was so very relaxing, just what I needed.

Now I'm home - and back to the familiar things of life, such as the little boy who lives above me running laps around their apartment. The kid's gonna be a track star someday - and I'll be able to say I knew him when... I never knew a kid could run continuous laps in an apartment my size, but I assure you it can be done...the little pitter-patter of feet seems to never end - it's quite humerous at this point.

Anyway - back home and back to life - as usual it's hard coming off of a week with nothing but God, teenagers, sun and sand, but it must be done. At least now I feel like I have the energy to do something other than come home and crash. So for now, I leave you with the things I learned on vacation...

1. God is amazing -

not that I didn't know that already, but I learned it in a much larger capacity this week - ways that will alter my entire outlook on so many different things in my life.

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2. I'm not as young as I used to be - spending 5 hours reffing basketball games in 90 degrees on hot pavement left me with an aching back, terribly sore and swollen feet and with the desire to do nothing but lay as still as possible, flat on my back in the cabin...a far cry from my much more active youth.
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3. If you sit on the back porch at the coast with a graham cracker in your hand long enough, the seagulls will attack you for it. Sea gulls do not fear me what-so-ever.

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4. I am a master poker player - I won $25 in my first poker game ever...yeah, it looked something like that...I'm the one with all the chips.

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5. I am a terrible fisherman - I give up on the idea of ever catching a fish. Even in the Gulf of Mexico I couldn't get one to bite. I think it's a conspiracy of the aquatic life to leave me feeling defeated any time I step on the scene with fishing pole in hand...well, I quit. If she can do it...then they must be conspiring against me - I refuse to accept any other explanation.
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7. It is possible to hit rush hour in San Antonio, Austin and Waco all in the same day...and it sucks.
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8. And finally, I lived a truly blessed life. When I have the ability to spend 3 days in the midst of the 600 kids and Lord and then fly to the beach to stay in a beach house with a family that is not my own, but who treats me as if I were where I am able to lay on the beach in front of what I consider to be one of God's most amazing creations and just do nothing but bask in His sun and enjoy His sky and His clouds and His waves breaking on the shore and just take it all in....it humbles me to think a/b where I was 7 years ago and to think about where He's brought me since then. I am blessed beyond anything I could have ever imagined then and I am deeply grateful for where I am and for the people the Lord has planted in my life.
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It's been a wonderful week - hopefully I'll have some real pictures to share soon. I hope everyone is well and happy! Have a safe holiday weekend and I love you all!

Blast from the past...

God's Longing...
To the listening ear I speak, to the waiting heart I come. Sometimes, I may not speak. I may ask you merely to wait in My Presence, to know that I am with you. Think of the multitudes, who thronged Me, when I was on earth, all eager for something. Eager to be healed, or taught, or fed. Think as I supplied their many wants, and granted their manifold requests, what it meant to be Me. To find amid the crowd, some one or two, who followed Me just to be near Me, just to dwell in My Presence. How some longing of the Eternal Heart was satisfied thereby.Comfort Me awhile, by letting Me know that you would seek Me just to dwell in My presence, to be near Me, not even for teaching, not for material gain, not even for a message--but for Me. The longing of the human heart to be loved for itself is a something caught from the Great Divine Heart.-God Calling

Sorry to recycle material here, but I originally posted the above excerpt back in October of 2005...recently it was thrust to the forefront of my thoughts, by no accident I am sure. I'm struck with the absolute truth found within its words and with how that truth is so important to never be forgotten. There is so much peace found in just resting with Him, without expectation, without ulterior motive. Come to the feet of Jesus and do not seek, do not ask, do not search...just be still. Long just His presence because it is that glorious. Stop asking questions, stop seeking gifts or power and just for one true and pure moment seek the Givers face above all. Do not set your mind on the blessing to come, but on the blessing already present in just being near Him. I don't think that I can learn that lesson too many times. With so many prayers for peace, or knowledge or wisdom or blessings, at some point in the midst of it all I must learn that I don't have to go to Him with a request or a need, that I can go to Him just for the heck of it...in fact He wants us to...and as it says in the above passage, there is an eternal longing of the heart that is satisfied in nothing more than just being near Him. Being still and resting at the feet of our Lord will never go w/o reward or fulfillment...sometimes I wonder if it isn't the best kind.

Wow...

Lord oh Lord, I stand in awe...I'm not sure that I'll have the ability to compose a coherant post here, but I feel the need to write something...anything, to convey my utter amazement and gratitude for the way in which the Lord moves His hands throughout our lives. For the past few weeks I have walked in a season of confusion, restlessness and out right desperation...for answers, for clarity for anything to prove that I wasn't losing my mind. Calls for action that didn't make sense, and that challenged my logic. Walks in obedience that challenged my convictions, tore at my flesh and then grieved my spirit in the deepest ways imaginable. And in the moments when I thought that I had reached my absolute limit, the point of breaking, the Lord came to the rescue and just set it all free. In a word to a faithful servant, who delivered it on command my mind and my spirit were released of all the unrest and all of the confusion. All of it. Not only did He set me free, but He made it all make sense...He packaged it with a nice little bow and said, "here you go, this is why..." and I see now that it is the most beautiful package I have ever seen. And what's even better is that he's got more packages full of revelation and purpose just waiting to be unwrapped.
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Tonight there was a message given on 2 Samual6:12-21. It's about David as he dances and becomes overwhelmed with joy for the Lord before an entire city and before his wife Michal. While the majority there are focused on God and are captivated by the wonderful display of rejoicing, Michal is instead focused on the presence of men and misses the presence of God. The Lord spoke to me, asking...what are you focused on? What are you looking at? Where am I in your field of vision? Yikes!
He deserves so much more than our peripheral vision...He doesn't want us looking at the world with our eyes while just trying to keep Him in the peripheral of our view...the distraction causes His image to blur - His features become unclear while the rest of the world is crystal clear. He wants us face to face, our eyes locked on His...keep the world in our peripheral, not the other way around! Let the world become blurred, let it become unclear and unimportant because God is the only thing that can make everything else make sense. Trying to do it backwards is simply a recipe for confusion and uncertainty. Look to the face of God, not to the image of man. Seek His expression of affirmation, fear His expression of disapproval and not that of men. That is what He is showing me right now. He has to be in our direct line of sight. He has to be our final destination - not the job, not the house, not the wife or the husband, not the kids, not the 'future' here on earth, but only the eternal future of heaven. If we're not looking right at Him, the world becomes our source of explanation and attempted justification for our circumstances. It will never make sense. The problem here becomes, who of us is holy enough to stare into the face of God? Even Moses could only catch a glimpse and that was enough to bring him to the ground. By our very birth we are not worthy to stand before Him, we would be burned up in His perfect Holiness. But I know one man who is...and I know that many were graced with the ability to look into His eyes and touch His face. To look into the eyes of our saviour, it is the only way we can get to the eyes and the heart of God. It is our right of passage, our buffer zone - and how wonderful is our God that He would give us the opportunity to look with confidence into His very own eyes?? Not of our own accord, but through the eyes and the blood of Christ? It is unimaginable to our human minds and that's how we know it is God - what earthly man could conceive of such love and grace and mercy?
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Tonight, the Lord showed me what it looks like to bring His face into full view. No flesh, no world, no distraction. In a moment that by all wordly standards should have been full of heartache and sorrow, the Lord spoke Nehamiah 8 into my life and it could not have been a more fitting passage for the occassion:

Nehamiah 8:9-11

Then Nehemiah the governor, Ezra the priest and scribe, and the Levites who were instructing the people said to them all, "This day is sacred to the LORD your God. Do not mourn or weep." For all the people had been weeping as they listened to the words of the Law.
Nehemiah said, "Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is sacred to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength."
The Levites calmed all the people, saying, "Be still, for this is a sacred day. Do not grieve

How could I argue with that?? And when you're acting in the direct will of God...He will make sure you know it - b/c in that moment that should be so hard there will be joy and peace and confirmation. The Lord is good, He hears us when we pray and when we cry out and HE IS WORKING -- He works continuously. Above our understanding He is constantly weaving and intertwining our paths with such purpose and intricacy that we will never understand or know the extent of His abilities. We were never meant to. He is awesome and He is astounding and He is beautiful...
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And they were calling to one another: "Holy, holy, holy is the LORD Almighty; the whole earth is full of his glory."

Isaiah 6:3

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Told you it would be random :) But I feel some relief - that burning in me that just wants to shout it out - it's not gone, but at least I can sleep now. The work is just beginning and I am eagerly anticipating what is to come, for me and for others that I know are going to be touched by His very hands. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord God for you answered prayers and for your merciful ways - my hands cannot reach high enough and my voice cannot be loud enough to praise you or thank you as deserved...but I'll never stop trying to express it, becaue you'll never stop pouring it out. Thank you Lord...