We know that we start out as nothing more than a worthless lump of clay in the Almighty Potter's hands. But, by His mercy and grace, we are formed into beautiful and precious vessels made to serve and honor our King. And by this grace, we allow the Potter to touch places that hurt so much; places you don't ever want touched. As we let God work the pain, work the knots, work the pride, work the disobedience, it can only lead to restoration and healing. The Potter must get into the deep-rooted places that hurt the most. He will continue to hold you close and pour His living water and oil over and into you. He will wash away the pain and agony until He is satisfied that it is complete. Then He stops the potter's wheel from spinning and tenderly guides you on to the continued path of righteousness that He has set before you.
It is then, and only then, that the reveal of the work of the Potter's hand is made known. How wonderful it is to be a continual creation of our master's hand- a marvel of workmanship in His eyes. ~Diane Check~
So eloquently put and yet so hard to keep in perspective...God is always pushing us, pulling away the layers of our inner most selves to reveal the bitter truth of what we really are. And even when we think we've mastered it, he pulls away yet another layer, only to show us that we still need Him. It's amazing how deep our sins go, and how painful it can be to uncover them and then to defeat them. But the true hope lies in knowing that with Christ, the ability to master them is always available to us.
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Amazing Grace
All I have tonight is a prayer - a desperate prayer to the Lord almighty who hears all of my words and who is so loving and merciful.
1 O God, you are my God,
earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you,
my body longs for you,
in a dry and weary land
where there is no water.
2 I have seen you in the sanctuary
and beheld your power and your glory.
3 Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you.
4 I will praise you as long as I live,
and in your name I will lift up my hands.
I've come to the conclusion this evening that my current circumstance is not more than I can bare (which is how I have felt on several occasions over the past week). The problem is not the overwhelming load of work on my desk, or the project I was just assigned to have done in 8 days or my lack of sleep or those co-workers who just seem to be intent on making my life miserable...no...the problem is the way in which I'm choosing to cope with the current situation.
For some reason I'm having a difficult time being still and resting in the Lord. I find myself agitated and overwhelmed to the point of panic attacks and even in the midst of it I'm wondering why I can't just lay it down...who of us gains an hour by worrying, and yet I find myself filled with worry and stress, something that I've always felt I was able to give to the Lord with little hesitation.
I feel like I am entering this new season of life - where I am being forced to be alone...alone and enduring a stressful time. While I'm finding it to be really difficult, I'm beginning to think that it's a good thing. I think that right now I'm adjusting to the idea of not having someone sitting there every minute just waiting to listen to my woes and troubles - but having to soak in it and then choose to take it to God. It's different I must say and I'm realizing some difficult things a/b myself...such as, maybe I'm not dependent enough on the Lord and maybe I do still seek too much affirmation and comfort from other people. It's a difficult thing to sit with the anxiety and the tightness in my chest and to just wait for the Lord to bring relief. It's hard not to want to call the first available person and vent like a smoke stack, but I feel that it's what He's wanting me to do. Soak, sit and wait...
Praise the Lord for always refining us - for constantly digging away at the layers to show us how imperfect we are, and in our imperfection, how much we need Him.
My prayers right now are that I would have the strength to sit and wait, and to obey and honor my God. That I would not seek my peace in other places and that in times I am being driven to do so, I would have the strength to call on His name.
God is so good - and I am so blessed to be His daughter.
When battle lines become unclear
and the waging war is all I hear
Lord sustain me, with Your voice
and the choice to walk in truth
That I might see the day, this waging war
might go away and be no more.
That I might see His face and hear him say,
Son, welcome home the war is over.
~Shane & Shane ~ Waging War
1 O God, you are my God,
earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you,
my body longs for you,
in a dry and weary land
where there is no water.
2 I have seen you in the sanctuary
and beheld your power and your glory.
3 Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you.
4 I will praise you as long as I live,
and in your name I will lift up my hands.
I've come to the conclusion this evening that my current circumstance is not more than I can bare (which is how I have felt on several occasions over the past week). The problem is not the overwhelming load of work on my desk, or the project I was just assigned to have done in 8 days or my lack of sleep or those co-workers who just seem to be intent on making my life miserable...no...the problem is the way in which I'm choosing to cope with the current situation.
For some reason I'm having a difficult time being still and resting in the Lord. I find myself agitated and overwhelmed to the point of panic attacks and even in the midst of it I'm wondering why I can't just lay it down...who of us gains an hour by worrying, and yet I find myself filled with worry and stress, something that I've always felt I was able to give to the Lord with little hesitation.
I feel like I am entering this new season of life - where I am being forced to be alone...alone and enduring a stressful time. While I'm finding it to be really difficult, I'm beginning to think that it's a good thing. I think that right now I'm adjusting to the idea of not having someone sitting there every minute just waiting to listen to my woes and troubles - but having to soak in it and then choose to take it to God. It's different I must say and I'm realizing some difficult things a/b myself...such as, maybe I'm not dependent enough on the Lord and maybe I do still seek too much affirmation and comfort from other people. It's a difficult thing to sit with the anxiety and the tightness in my chest and to just wait for the Lord to bring relief. It's hard not to want to call the first available person and vent like a smoke stack, but I feel that it's what He's wanting me to do. Soak, sit and wait...
Praise the Lord for always refining us - for constantly digging away at the layers to show us how imperfect we are, and in our imperfection, how much we need Him.
My prayers right now are that I would have the strength to sit and wait, and to obey and honor my God. That I would not seek my peace in other places and that in times I am being driven to do so, I would have the strength to call on His name.
God is so good - and I am so blessed to be His daughter.
When battle lines become unclear
and the waging war is all I hear
Lord sustain me, with Your voice
and the choice to walk in truth
That I might see the day, this waging war
might go away and be no more.
That I might see His face and hear him say,
Son, welcome home the war is over.
~Shane & Shane ~ Waging War
Saturday, September 24, 2005
Trying times...
Worship! Right now! If God fails you, you will be the first person in history He's ever failed! (And I don't think you are important enough for Him to ruin His reputation over!) Keep on worshiping! Pick up the pieces and march on! - (God's Eye View - p. 136)
It's hard to read that when you or someone you love is going through a time of sorrow or of confusion. It's weird to me that often times myself and those that I love will all experience these seasons of indifference or distance at the same time...Those times when God feels far away, when your worship feels a little empty, and you are worshipping out of nothing more than blind faith, praying for just a small glimpse of His presence. Times when the questions far outway the answers and your mind is left reeling in the depths of not understanding our mighty Lord. It's a hard season to endure and yet one that the Lord says will come. It's hard when you're going through it (and we all do) and sometimes it's even harder when someone you love is going through it. I try to find the words to somehow comfort, all the while, knowing that none of my words are going to be the words to save the day...we are a society of fixers though - we see a problem and the immediate response is to fix it, patch it or at the very least put a bandaid on it...all the while the Lord is gently telling us to let Him fix it, let Him do what we have always failed to do as friends and family - provide comfort and peace. And so now, when I'm faced with a friend or a loved one who is struggling and battling things that I can't see, I hit my knees on their behalf, in urgent prayer, and leave the fixing to the Lord. It's all I can do, and it doesn't mean I love them any less, only that I love them enough to leave it in the hands of the Lord who Loves them more than I ever could.
Psalm 147 3:5
3 He heals the brokenhearted
and binds up their wounds.
4 He determines the number of the stars
and calls them each by name.
5 Great is our Lord and mighty in power;
his understanding has no limit.
It's hard to read that when you or someone you love is going through a time of sorrow or of confusion. It's weird to me that often times myself and those that I love will all experience these seasons of indifference or distance at the same time...Those times when God feels far away, when your worship feels a little empty, and you are worshipping out of nothing more than blind faith, praying for just a small glimpse of His presence. Times when the questions far outway the answers and your mind is left reeling in the depths of not understanding our mighty Lord. It's a hard season to endure and yet one that the Lord says will come. It's hard when you're going through it (and we all do) and sometimes it's even harder when someone you love is going through it. I try to find the words to somehow comfort, all the while, knowing that none of my words are going to be the words to save the day...we are a society of fixers though - we see a problem and the immediate response is to fix it, patch it or at the very least put a bandaid on it...all the while the Lord is gently telling us to let Him fix it, let Him do what we have always failed to do as friends and family - provide comfort and peace. And so now, when I'm faced with a friend or a loved one who is struggling and battling things that I can't see, I hit my knees on their behalf, in urgent prayer, and leave the fixing to the Lord. It's all I can do, and it doesn't mean I love them any less, only that I love them enough to leave it in the hands of the Lord who Loves them more than I ever could.
Psalm 147 3:5
3 He heals the brokenhearted
and binds up their wounds.
4 He determines the number of the stars
and calls them each by name.
5 Great is our Lord and mighty in power;
his understanding has no limit.
Friday, September 23, 2005
Exercise for the mind...
Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.
1 Corinthians 9:24-27
It's an interesting thing, that so many people have this neatly packaged view of Christianity. We don't really view it as work, or something we must train for - we just 'are' Christians; I would beg to differ. Christianity and faith are verbs - as a good friend once told me, "faith is something we do, it is not something we just have" it is an action as is being a Christian. We should not mearly be Christians, we should be doing Christianity - working and training and conditioning ourselves on a daily basis to be more like Christ. Beating our bodies and making it our slaves is not an easy task, nor was it ever intended to be. Just as running a marathon takes months of training and conditioning and stamina that is built over time so does living a life for Christ require all of these things.
The Christian walk is no different than physical exercise. You start out with a commitment in your heart and mind...you have goals and set plans and you're convinced that you're going to stick with it. Life gets busy and you start to slack off, a few weeks go by and your initial commitment is out the door. A week out of the gym and I can physically feel the difference - my muscles get weaker, I don't feel as strong. It's no different with our spiritual lives. A week w/o "training", and I can feel the difference, I am mentally, emotionally an spiritually weaker...more apt to falling and more easily tempted into sin. Training our minds is so much more difficult than training our bodies but so much more important!
It amazes me how many hours I have devoted to shaping and molding my physical body into what I feel is acceptable, and at the same time, how few hours I have devoted to shaping and molding my mind into what God feels is acceptable.
1 Corinthians 9:24-27
It's an interesting thing, that so many people have this neatly packaged view of Christianity. We don't really view it as work, or something we must train for - we just 'are' Christians; I would beg to differ. Christianity and faith are verbs - as a good friend once told me, "faith is something we do, it is not something we just have" it is an action as is being a Christian. We should not mearly be Christians, we should be doing Christianity - working and training and conditioning ourselves on a daily basis to be more like Christ. Beating our bodies and making it our slaves is not an easy task, nor was it ever intended to be. Just as running a marathon takes months of training and conditioning and stamina that is built over time so does living a life for Christ require all of these things.
The Christian walk is no different than physical exercise. You start out with a commitment in your heart and mind...you have goals and set plans and you're convinced that you're going to stick with it. Life gets busy and you start to slack off, a few weeks go by and your initial commitment is out the door. A week out of the gym and I can physically feel the difference - my muscles get weaker, I don't feel as strong. It's no different with our spiritual lives. A week w/o "training", and I can feel the difference, I am mentally, emotionally an spiritually weaker...more apt to falling and more easily tempted into sin. Training our minds is so much more difficult than training our bodies but so much more important!
It amazes me how many hours I have devoted to shaping and molding my physical body into what I feel is acceptable, and at the same time, how few hours I have devoted to shaping and molding my mind into what God feels is acceptable.
Thursday, September 22, 2005
Psalm 86:12 - What a beautiful display of affection for our Lord.
I will praise you O Lord my God, with all of my heart; I will glorify your name forever...
My life has been one full of joy and laughter, hurt and sorrow, highs and lows...and in the end, my life is but a story for Christ. For all the hurt I have endured, I am grateful. All the times that I cried out in anguish and question, I cherish. It was not until now, that I see with clarity that the pain of my past served the purpose of putting me where I am today. I have seen my Lord orchestrate my life in such miraculous ways - in ways that I refuse to push aside to coincidence. I am truly grateful for the life I have been given, and even more for the grace and mercy I have been shown along the way.
I wanted to create a place where I could share the scriptures and thoughts that the Lord has laid on my heart. It is a place that is devoted to the Lord and which testifies to His goodness and sovereignty. I can only pray that it is pleasing to the Lord and that someone will be touched by the words written here.
I am nothing more than a vessel seeking to surrender my entire being to serve the Lord. I am no longer my own, but thine. Father, I abandon myself into Your hands; do with me what You will. Whatever You may do, I thank you: I am ready for all, I accept all. Lord, I give up my own plans and purposes, all my own desires, hopes and ambitions, and I accept Your will for my life. I give up myself, my life, my all, utterly to You, to be Yours forever. Amen.
This life is about surrendering - placing our life in the hands of the mighty creator regardless of the cost. I'm not sure that any of us knows what true surrender is, but it is my prayer that I might truly learn.
I will praise you O Lord my God, with all of my heart; I will glorify your name forever...
My life has been one full of joy and laughter, hurt and sorrow, highs and lows...and in the end, my life is but a story for Christ. For all the hurt I have endured, I am grateful. All the times that I cried out in anguish and question, I cherish. It was not until now, that I see with clarity that the pain of my past served the purpose of putting me where I am today. I have seen my Lord orchestrate my life in such miraculous ways - in ways that I refuse to push aside to coincidence. I am truly grateful for the life I have been given, and even more for the grace and mercy I have been shown along the way.
I wanted to create a place where I could share the scriptures and thoughts that the Lord has laid on my heart. It is a place that is devoted to the Lord and which testifies to His goodness and sovereignty. I can only pray that it is pleasing to the Lord and that someone will be touched by the words written here.
I am nothing more than a vessel seeking to surrender my entire being to serve the Lord. I am no longer my own, but thine. Father, I abandon myself into Your hands; do with me what You will. Whatever You may do, I thank you: I am ready for all, I accept all. Lord, I give up my own plans and purposes, all my own desires, hopes and ambitions, and I accept Your will for my life. I give up myself, my life, my all, utterly to You, to be Yours forever. Amen.
This life is about surrendering - placing our life in the hands of the mighty creator regardless of the cost. I'm not sure that any of us knows what true surrender is, but it is my prayer that I might truly learn.
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