Dying for perfection?

Yeah...it's graphic, and if that's painful to look at, I wouldn't recomend looking at the ones that will follow. This my friends is what satan is doing to millions of girl all over the world. Young, sweet, tender minded girls - this is what they desire, this is what they seek identity in and this is what they look like. It's real, it happens, girls really do look like this. You will probably never know b/c they hide it under baggy shirts and fake smiles, but they are there...more than you could possibly imagine. Every day, satan is feeding them the lies, pushing them further into solitude and locking them into the dungeon of their mind and so many of us just look the other way. We ignore because it's embarrasing...we deny b/c it's easy, we pretend b/c it's uncomfortable. I met a little angel tonight. A 12 year old girl, so small and so fragile I would have guessed she was 8 or 9 at most. The last year and a half of her life spent starving herself, until she is now just a fleeting shadow of what she once was, physically, mentally and emotionally. The majority of her school year spent in and out of hospitals, in counseling or alone. As I'm sitting across from her, all I can see is sadness and my heart breaks into a million pieces. I don't know that I have ever felt such compassion for a human being in my life. I know her troubles and I know her pain and I would give anything...anything, to take it from her and spare her from the life I know she will live if she continues walking this path. And so I tell her my story, my struggles and talk to her a lot a/b what I know is going on in her head. I'm pretty sure I even know her thoughts about what I'm saying to her, I'm sure I've had similar ones in the past. We talked about God and a/b being His daughter, about identity and about healing. We talked about satan and a/b the lies and in the end we prayed...I don't know if I have ever literally pleaded with God before...but I did tonight. Through sobs and tears I begged Him to take this from her - she's too young for this affliction Lord, too young. And yet there are so many just like her...it is terrifying to think about. It is something that I hope those reading this will never understand. It is something that I could never explain or make sense of. But it is a real disease, one that effects so many and yet is so often swept under the rug. It is real though, it is the real deal...it's the desire to look like this...

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Or maybe like this...

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And the one that chills my soul to the core...

Dear Lord....

I was utterly convinced tonight, probably around the time that I was broken and weeping for this girls soul, that in some way, in some form or fashion I will at some point in my life, be involved in mentoring young girls out of this wretched disease. How could I possibly ignore the things that the Lord has taught me in my 6 years of battle? It would be a fallacy on my part to ignore, pretend and deny. I realized tonight that even through my sometimes imperfect recovery I am still useful to God and I am still still capable of reaching these girls out of my pure compassion for what they are experiencing. In ways I feel that I may have been more blessed by tonights encounter than even the little girl was...definitely not what I was expecting, then again the Lord works in funny ways like that sometimes.

I don't know what happened in that little girls head and heart tonight, but I'm standing in faith that the Lord was and is at work there. I knew last night that He was involved in this, and I know that even if I never see her again, that He had a purpose for the encounter...even if only one thing I said to her tonight sticks - it was worth the time and the visit...of course I'll be continuing to pray for a miraculous healing and I hope you will be too...