Kingdom life...

I've been thinking a lot lately a/b healing and about praying for it and experiencing it and seeing it. With my pursuit of the Spirit and all the comes with that, naturally healing is something to be addressed. I'm reading When Heaven Invades Earth right now and I read something the other day that really hit me...
To preface...I am one that believes that the Lord is in complete control of all - if bad things happen, they happen not necessarily b/c the Lord made it happen but at the very least He allowed it to happen. My take on healing has always been a little on the fence b/c I've thought 'well, what if the Lord doesn't want them to be healed? What if He's doing something that we just don't understand right now"? I've also been plagued with what I now recognize as doubtful thoughts like, "I know God can do it, but will He"? The book I'm reading makes that exact statement and then proceeds to say...satan knows God can do it too - and to say such a thing is at best hope - true faith is not just knowing that He can, but that He will do it...

Yikes - conviction to the core. The bible says that the apostles prayed with expectancy...they didn't just ask with the flippant hope that God would respond, they prayed knowing that He would - obviously that makes a huge difference! I've always prayed the - if it's Your will Lord, please... But why not, Lord - I'm praying for...and I'm expecting you to respond, I thank you for your answer to this prayer and I'm standing firmly on your word and on my authority in Your holy, holy name that You will provide?! The book also says that it's better not to examine your faith, but to respond quickly and then realize that your obedience was actually a product of your faith. Thinking and overthinking what is possibly and likely a word or command from the Lord will most often result in disobedience due to our own self doubt and unbelief. If we were to obey immediately and then watch as He works, we could then look back and see that, yes, our quick reaction was actually a product of our faith in God. With every act of obedience we are strengthened in our faith and will be more likely to respond to His next word.

On a randomly off topic rant...I'm sitting here writing this and all I can think is 'just love Him' - it's that simple, just love Him. Why does it have to be so complicated and political? Just love Him...in our current state, with our current imperfections, with our sin, with our never ending short comings - with a pure and honest heart, love Him and He will undoubtedly love us back. If it is possible in this world of flesh to find people and ultimately to find one person (a husband or wife) to love us for who we are including all of our imperfections and all of that deep dark stuff that nobody else really knows a/b - how could we for one second think that God's love for us is any less? It is so much more!! God does not need us, He wants us - think a/b that...not one of us is needed in this world - the world would not stop w/o us, it would not cease to function if we weren't here....but the Lord wanted us, and so here we are, in this place and in this time b/c He decided in all of His glory that He wanted us to be here. Take comfort in that idea of divine planning behind each of our lives and in the idea that we are here out of want and desire and not out of need...

I hope that someone out there needed that, I know it's good for me to hear and think a/b often, but it was just heavy on me to put into writing, so I'm trusting that it was for someone specific, and maybe for myself in more ways than I am willing to realize at times.

Praise the Lord, for another glorious day made by Him for His children...He is so good and so faithful. As cliche and redundant as it can sound at times, I will never grow tired of praising His good works and His blessings...recognizing my unworthiness and all that I lack, I could never stop praising Him for sacrificing Himself so that I might be with Him forever and so that I might experience the comfort of His spirit.