Wow...

Lord oh Lord, I stand in awe...I'm not sure that I'll have the ability to compose a coherant post here, but I feel the need to write something...anything, to convey my utter amazement and gratitude for the way in which the Lord moves His hands throughout our lives. For the past few weeks I have walked in a season of confusion, restlessness and out right desperation...for answers, for clarity for anything to prove that I wasn't losing my mind. Calls for action that didn't make sense, and that challenged my logic. Walks in obedience that challenged my convictions, tore at my flesh and then grieved my spirit in the deepest ways imaginable. And in the moments when I thought that I had reached my absolute limit, the point of breaking, the Lord came to the rescue and just set it all free. In a word to a faithful servant, who delivered it on command my mind and my spirit were released of all the unrest and all of the confusion. All of it. Not only did He set me free, but He made it all make sense...He packaged it with a nice little bow and said, "here you go, this is why..." and I see now that it is the most beautiful package I have ever seen. And what's even better is that he's got more packages full of revelation and purpose just waiting to be unwrapped.
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Tonight there was a message given on 2 Samual6:12-21. It's about David as he dances and becomes overwhelmed with joy for the Lord before an entire city and before his wife Michal. While the majority there are focused on God and are captivated by the wonderful display of rejoicing, Michal is instead focused on the presence of men and misses the presence of God. The Lord spoke to me, asking...what are you focused on? What are you looking at? Where am I in your field of vision? Yikes!
He deserves so much more than our peripheral vision...He doesn't want us looking at the world with our eyes while just trying to keep Him in the peripheral of our view...the distraction causes His image to blur - His features become unclear while the rest of the world is crystal clear. He wants us face to face, our eyes locked on His...keep the world in our peripheral, not the other way around! Let the world become blurred, let it become unclear and unimportant because God is the only thing that can make everything else make sense. Trying to do it backwards is simply a recipe for confusion and uncertainty. Look to the face of God, not to the image of man. Seek His expression of affirmation, fear His expression of disapproval and not that of men. That is what He is showing me right now. He has to be in our direct line of sight. He has to be our final destination - not the job, not the house, not the wife or the husband, not the kids, not the 'future' here on earth, but only the eternal future of heaven. If we're not looking right at Him, the world becomes our source of explanation and attempted justification for our circumstances. It will never make sense. The problem here becomes, who of us is holy enough to stare into the face of God? Even Moses could only catch a glimpse and that was enough to bring him to the ground. By our very birth we are not worthy to stand before Him, we would be burned up in His perfect Holiness. But I know one man who is...and I know that many were graced with the ability to look into His eyes and touch His face. To look into the eyes of our saviour, it is the only way we can get to the eyes and the heart of God. It is our right of passage, our buffer zone - and how wonderful is our God that He would give us the opportunity to look with confidence into His very own eyes?? Not of our own accord, but through the eyes and the blood of Christ? It is unimaginable to our human minds and that's how we know it is God - what earthly man could conceive of such love and grace and mercy?
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Tonight, the Lord showed me what it looks like to bring His face into full view. No flesh, no world, no distraction. In a moment that by all wordly standards should have been full of heartache and sorrow, the Lord spoke Nehamiah 8 into my life and it could not have been a more fitting passage for the occassion:

Nehamiah 8:9-11

Then Nehemiah the governor, Ezra the priest and scribe, and the Levites who were instructing the people said to them all, "This day is sacred to the LORD your God. Do not mourn or weep." For all the people had been weeping as they listened to the words of the Law.
Nehemiah said, "Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is sacred to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength."
The Levites calmed all the people, saying, "Be still, for this is a sacred day. Do not grieve

How could I argue with that?? And when you're acting in the direct will of God...He will make sure you know it - b/c in that moment that should be so hard there will be joy and peace and confirmation. The Lord is good, He hears us when we pray and when we cry out and HE IS WORKING -- He works continuously. Above our understanding He is constantly weaving and intertwining our paths with such purpose and intricacy that we will never understand or know the extent of His abilities. We were never meant to. He is awesome and He is astounding and He is beautiful...
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And they were calling to one another: "Holy, holy, holy is the LORD Almighty; the whole earth is full of his glory."

Isaiah 6:3

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Told you it would be random :) But I feel some relief - that burning in me that just wants to shout it out - it's not gone, but at least I can sleep now. The work is just beginning and I am eagerly anticipating what is to come, for me and for others that I know are going to be touched by His very hands. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord God for you answered prayers and for your merciful ways - my hands cannot reach high enough and my voice cannot be loud enough to praise you or thank you as deserved...but I'll never stop trying to express it, becaue you'll never stop pouring it out. Thank you Lord...